Hidden Among the Baggage.

On August 27th I will start my first day of classes at Northwest University. It is a long time coming as I graduated from high school 4 years ago. I spent about a year just lollygagging, after that I worked with YWAM for about a year and a half and the last year I’ve spent working with my youth group. Part of me wishes I had gone straight to college after high school. “I’d be graduating this year” and "I’m going to be a 22 year old freshman” are both common thoughts floating in my head. However, when I examine all of the things that have taken place to get me to this point, the sane part of me realizes that this is the way it had to be. I also realize that God has known that since the very beginning.
I spent two months at home after my first five months with YWAM. During that time I was made wildly aware of how badly the youth, whom I am not far removed from, needed discipleship. They even longed for it, but most didn't have anywhere to find it. It was at this point that I first thought about going into youth ministry, but for reasons unknown to me at the time, I quickly put that idea on the back burner. I then returned to Switzerland to spend another three months with YWAM participating in a traveling Bible school. At the end of this course we were required to write a topical study for our final. I wrote mine on discipleship; I learned that the best way to disciple is to be a shepherd (to lead by example, be always watchful to protect your sheep, and to know the condition of your flock.) Upon handing in my topical study my passion and drive to disciple young people was once again kindled.
I spent the rest of my time with YWAM staffing a Discipleship Training School, and then eventually leading a two-month outreach of 11 people to Togo with my friend Sarah. It was during this time that I learned the most about myself- some good things, some bad. First off, I learned that I had the ability to lead and to lead well. God also illuminated many things within me that I hated. I realized that I didn't love well; I am naturally apt to jump to judgment. I had the revelation that only the King can pass down judgment. It was also revealed to me that I have a tendency to be led my emotions instead of by my will. The statement "your feelings are real, but not always true" was never truer to me than then. While I cherish every minute of it, those were two of the hardest months of my life. However, I still came home thinking that I would do it again. I also came home severely burned out; the idea of leading anything seemed tedious.
I came home with the intention of leaving again in two months to be a full-time YWAMer. I immediately started working with the youth group at my church. I was enjoying it, but still thought it was just temporary and didn't want much responsibility. After conversation with Mike and Kari Levang I decided to stay home at least through the summer to help out with our summer wakeboard camp. Still, I had every intention of returning to Switzerland in the fall. As the days burned away and we reach the waning moments of summer, God rocked my world. It was one word that I did not want to hear: "STAY." To me, at that time, To go meant excitement, adventure, new friends and what I thought was my "calling." To stay meant struggle (I would have to earn my living doing one intense, physical job after another). It meant losing the community of believers I had in Switzerland, it meant the hard way to me. However, it also meant becoming part of a whole new incredible community at my church, a community that has come to be a massive influence in my life. It also meant being able to work long-term with the church's youth group. I've been home now for 14 months. I'd be a liar if I said it has all been sunshine and daisies; I've had some very distinct valleys. However, God has guided me out of all of these things with a new hair of wisdom and a badge of knowledge. I have so loved working with this youth group. It is actually become one of the main things I spend my time doing. I've spent much of this year feeling like I was swimming in circles, like what I was doing wasn't enough. But, in true God fashion, he has been rocking my world again over the past two months. The scales have fallen off my eyes and I have seen that God has actually been doing great things through me in both the church and its youth group. I say this not in a conceited way, but the with great gratitude that God has indeed watered seeds that I have thrown down. I find myself once again having this passion to disciple young people being stirred up within my heart, so much so that a raging inferno might just burst out of my chest.
Now that I have begun to yield to this idea of one day becoming a youth pastor, it is becoming clear why I resisted it in the first place: Fear; The fear of such responsibility, also the requirement of preparing and giving a message week in, week out. For a long time God has been continually putting it right in front of me, but for the sake of my fears I've turned a blind eye. I can't do that and more.
I am reading through 1st Samuel at the moment. I just recently came across the part where Samuel was going to crown Saul as the first king of Israel. We read previously in the chapter that Saul had already been anointed as king. When it comes time for Samuel to present him as king, Saul is nowhere to be found. So the people asked "is there a man still to come" and the Lord said "behold, he has hidden himself among the baggage." I asked myself, "Why in the world was Saul hiding behind the bags?" The only conclusion I could find was that he was scared. Imagine that: a man, whom God had already anointed, was afraid of what God anointed him to do. I first thought "that's pretty lame of Saul" then I realized "I am the same as Saul." Right now is when God is calling me out. He's saying "Josh, come on. Baggage, really? You're hiding behind bags? I already anointed you, just stand up and walk in the direction I have pointed you." He's calling me out from behind the baggage to face my fear, which I'm realizing is nothing to be afraid of. So that's what I am doing, I'm coming out of hiding.
I know I'm not the only one. I think it is human nature. My question to you is this: why are you hiding among the baggage? Is it fear? Fear of what? Whatever it is, my encouragement to you is this: push the bags aside, as a matter-of-fact burn the darn bags! Whatever you do, for the love of God, stand up. 1 Samuel 10 goes on to say "When he stood among the people, he was taller than any of the people from his shoulders upward." This might come as a surprise to you but God might just desire for you to be a giant in whatever it is that he has called you to do.
Stand up. Burn the baggage!

God Is a Pretty Great Artist.

Just beautiful! I love my city... Notice the grandur of Rainer over the city though.. God's creation triumphs over man's any day!

On the Matter of:

On the matter or Temptation: A test of loyalties. That is what it boils down to. Not something to be feared or abhorred, but a gift. We will be tempted many times every day. Some more than others, this fact is scary. However, we have hope in the fact that with every temptation we have the ability to respond rightly with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. At every temptation we hit a fork in the road. We can go left or right, one way is sin and the other is holiness. The first look at a girl places this fork before us, the temptation. At that moment I have a choice: Look again, or set my eyes upon Jesus. To take a second look is to indulge in sin. To divert my eyes is to pursue purity, holiness, and righteousness. In life we are daily tempted with a “second look.” Daily we are presented with this test of loyalties. Are we loyal to Christ? or to our flesh? Every day, multiple times a day I choose the flesh. But every day, multiple times a day I get another chance to be loyal to Christ. That is the gift. It goes all the way back to Adam. He was tested with the tree. He chose the tree over relationship with God, but from that moment and on... every day, multiple times a day he was presented with an opportunity to be loyal to God. This changes everything. With this revelation we are now free to decide against that second look, not because of requirement, but because we have Jesus in us. Every temptation is an opportunity to reflect Him.

On the matter of Holiness and sin: Rather than being the purpose or the aim, overcoming sin is merely the byproduct of the purpose which is relationship with Christ. In this there is freedom.

Living

This poem is called "Living"

To live is Christ, to die is gain
Two worlds apart, the second not the same
Teach me something else.
I know how to die, I know how to die.

If I’m living and breathing, I am sinning and cheating
Why?
Haven’t you seen my heart?
Why, why would you want me set apart?

Who else can reach the lost, but the lost?
The broken and beaten

God chose me, because me is we.
There is power in peers and there’s freedom in tears

I am the image of the unimaginable God.
A broken one at that, but still chosen as His light.
A broken ambassador to a broken world.
A forgiven son reaching out for my forgiving Father.


Tell me this:
What does it mean to run after holiness?
Distinct perfectness?
Impeccable speech?
A downward sullen face?
or blisters on my feet?

I am running.
I am tripping.
I am falling.

But the Lord looks at his son
and I receive grace upon grace upon grace.
What else to do, but get up and run.

What untamable grace; a gift not won.
Freely given to the undeserving son
This gift I have been given is not mine to keep;
I must find a flock and tend His sheep.

Inspired by Phil. 1:21

Mow Unto the Lord.

So, I've been working as a landscaper since I came back to the states. I'm trying to earn some of the funds I need on my own. It is hard work, but I like it. There is something fulfilling about creating those straight lines in the grass and making a dump look like a home... I've learned that there truly IS an art to mowing a law.. I'm also learning the real meaning of "doing you work as if unto the Lord." Sometimes I think "Why am I doing this?" But just the other day I was thinking about it again and I realized... "I am literally doing this for God. So I can go and do what he has called me to do!" I don't know, but that makes exhausting my body every day a lot easier. The motivation that brings is incredible!

Pray that God would show me the next step in raising support!

Dance.Dance.Dance.

DTS 10-4

Wow.

Today is ONE WEEK of DTS 10-4! This week has been marked with many many ups and some downs. I'm totally exhausted.. in all ways.. spiritually, as a staff we have been fighting for these students like crazy!

We've been very busy since we got here..

My students blow me away, they are all so fantastic. I can't believe it's only been one week. Today we finished up telling all of our testimonies and it was a sp

ectacular time.. Then after we had a super fun dance party to celebrate our one week anniversary... for like 2 hours. I got so sweaty.. I had to take a shower. Then we ate Korean noodles and had a good ol' time!

Satan has definitely attacked me throughout this week.. With feelings of inadequacy and doubt. And at times I've felt like I'm too young to lead these people.. Some older than me.. But time after time God has been reassuring me and encouraging me!

Please pray for me staff team that we'd continue to seek after God's heart and that he'd align ours with his... Pray that God would help me. :) Thanks

God is so so great... I can't wait for this quarter to unfold further!

My and my DTS guys in front of the Chalet.

Arrival Day!

Today is arrival day for all of the new students at the base! Many have already arrived and I am having a blast getting to know them! There's still many more to arrive. I have the "Red Eye" shift at the airport... 9-12! Woo. haha..

Anyhoo! At's all real exciting here at the Chalet! This quarter is finally getting under way. Thank you Jesus...

Please pray for my health! I have a little bit of a cold. :(

Love you all! :D

Busy week

Hey friends!

Just a little update...

I arrived in Switzerland on Friday... 2 hours after our arrival we started staff training! The last 3 days has been CRAZY because of the YWAM 50th Year Celebration! I literally have had no time to rest until now.. But it has been fantastic. It's great to be back in Switzerland! :D

We're continuing staff training tonight and tomorrow... Then my students arrive on Thursday! YAY... I'm really excited but a little nervous!

PRAY! Thanks! :D

Love,

Josh

The.Best.Lies and Our.Lives.

I think it was my friend Clive... That would be Clive Staples Lewis who once said that the best lie is 90% truth.

I've made a lot of mistakes.. A pivotal one being allowing myself to live a lot of my life in 90% truth.

I think most people unknowingly live their lives in that 90% rather than the full 100... Sadly, that 10% lie is like leaven in bread... It will spread through the whole of it and contaminate it with itself... So that while there is 90% truth... that truth still has this underlying falsehood hidden within. It is something that is subtle but slowly corrupts the truth in our hearts... C.S. Lewis also wrote "The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."

It is necessary to always check ourselves to make sure we're not on the safe road to hell... It sounds brutal, but that's the simple truth. Because it is easy to let this 10% run rampant and grow without realizing. It is easy to not acknowledge the leaven. But that is suicide.

Let's examine our lives... Are we living in 90% truth or 100% truth?

I don't know what this looks like... I don't know how to extract the leaven from the bread. But I do know that 90% is dangerous...

So, this ended up kind of being an expose on C.S. Lewis. Haha.

The Truth, Honestly.

So this is going to be a short one.

A few days ago.. Ok maybe a week or two I ran across this verse: "The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." -Psalm 145:18.

What does it mean to "call in truth?"

What does it mean? It's a good question. I guess to answer that question you need to think about what truth is... I think in most instances when we think about speaking the truth it means to be honest.. So, when this verse says that the Lord is near to all who "call on him in truth," I believe the Psalmist is telling us to call on him with honesty!

Could this mean that we are to call out, to cry out to God with honesty on our hearts and on our lips? To lay our hearts out, to be honest with our struggles? Are we to be "straight up" with God? No facades, no sugar coating? YES!

I think this is a beautiful promise! When we are humbled to come before God and just say "God, I am scared. God I need you... and I sin in this, this and this way. I Think wrongly in this way. Sometimes I don't trust you! I love you though, and I'm trying.. God I need you so bad!!" The promise we have is that the Lord is "near" to all who "call in truth" or as I believe those who are honest when God. Not that He doesn't know all these things already.. But He is concerned with our hearts, because He is a personal being. God wants us to tell Him what is up with us.. It's like when a child breaks a vase and the parent says... ok, who broke this vase?? The parent knows it was the child.. But they ask because they want their beautiful child to tell them on their own!

This is why we are to call out to God in truth. God wants us to tell him the truth on our own.. And His promise is that He'll be near to us. He'll protect us and watch over us. He'll comfort us in His arms. He is a Father.. An amazing gracious Father!!

Christ Knows ALL Our Temptations!

Ok Ok... It's about time!

Gosh, I'm sorry. I suck at keeping up my blog! Please accept my deepest apologies!

So While is was in Israel I was reading through Hebrews and as I read Heb. 4:15-16 then, these verses just jumped out at me. I think maybe because at that time the fact that I definitely needed Jesus' help with my temptations to sin was clearly evident to me.. Something that as time goes in becomes even clearer. I was on a long bus ride so I had some time and decided to look a little deeper into these two verses. And that time is where I got the bulk what is in this blog. But then about a week ago, my Friend Isaac posted that verse on his status on Facebook and so I was prompted to look at it again.. And Now I guess I just felt like it's probably time to put it into a blog!

So, here's the verse- Hebrews 4:15-16:

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

1st: You notice that we have a promise of help when we are being tempted to sin.

Then we have the question: Wy does He have authority over sin?
1st: Because He IS God incarnate.
2nd: Because Christ humbled himself and became a man, he had to suffer every temptation like we do. He knows exactly what we are going through (you read this in Phil. 2), he knows our suffering because He has endured it! Since he triumphed over the temptation to sin, he has the authority over sin.

So the next question is: Jesus humbled himself to become fully man, so, being fully man, how did Jesus overcome sin?
1. As a man he had potential to sin. Some people think that it wasn't possible for Jesus to sin. in Latin the term is "Non posse peccare" but that isn't true.. It wasn't impossible for Jesus to sin.. But it is possible for him not to sin. The term is "Posse non peccare".. Meaning that he had potential to sin, but he was able to not sin.. He was able not to sin because he had direct communion with God the Father and was empowered and strengthened.
Now, because of Christ's death, resurrection and ascension we have received God's grace and The Holy Spirit who through God's grace welcomes us into the family.. Into relationship and fellowship with the Father. Through this relationship and community with the Trinity we too are strengthened and empowered by God to fight temptation.

Jesus stands holding our hand and he pulls us into this relationship and he makes it possible.

So, how are we supposed to respond to this?
1. Allow the Holy Spirit to work to empower us.. In John and Acts the Holy Spirit is talked about as a Helper.. He helps us.
2. Trust- Trust that God has given us authority over temptation. Believe it!
3. Act in this belief- Walk in God promise that we will find help to resist temptation... Put on the shoes and walk in them. Start living in a way that suggests that we believe what is written in this passage!
4. Take the practical step of having someone to be accountable with!

That's just how I worked through it.. A person could probably spend many many hours diving into these verses.. They're very rich verses! As is the whole book of Hebrews!

My trip was fantastic BTW! Keep me in your prayers as I prepare mentally, spiritually and financially to go out one more time! In the Fall I will be going back to Switzerland for another round of DTS(Discipleship Training School). This time I will be a staff member!!!! Woo.. But seriously.. pray for me. Haha

Thanks,

Josh!

Almost Time!

O my!!! I leave for Egypt in 45 minutes!!! It shall be so amazing!!

I can't say much and don't have a lot of time! but I am so thankful for all of your guys' support and love! I feel so blessed to be doing this! wow... He is so good!

Just keep me in your thoughts! :D I love you all so frikin' much!

THINK!

Sorry- It's been a while!

BCC is keeping me very busy! I mostly only have free time on the weekends! It is a lot of hard work, but I am really loving it! so far we've read through 7 out of 66 books of the bible and done an in-depth study on Philemon and Galatians... We'll start diving into Matthew tomorrow!

In a community meeting we had Paul Hawkins come and speak to us. He talked about thinking and how important it is for Christians to think. Unfortunately the majority of Christians don't! It really inspired e to think more. I think as Christians of we actually think... We can impact the world for God so MUCH more! Instead of distorting peoples view of Christianity and Jesus... Just an idea..

I leave for Egypt in 13 days! Wow! Yay.. I am so excited!

So, that is just a short update. Like I said, BCC keeps me pretty busy.. Saturday was the first time I'm really had any free time.

Please pray that this crazy Icelandic volcano stops so we can fly out in 2 weeks! Pray that God will continue to give me energy and drive! Pray that all of the thinks that I study and learn will seep from my brain into my heart!! Thank you all.. also, pray for my health! I am recovering from a cold. :(

Love,

Josh

P.S.. The picture on the right is a vertical chart for the book of Philemon! bahh

Modern Day Israelites.

We read through Judges yesterday. It is basically a story about how God constantly came through for the Israelites. Whenever God put a judge in charge of them, everything went well. But as soon as the judge died, everything went crazy again! They started worshipping gods again, they would start doing all sorts of naughty things. Then enemies would start attacking.. Finally after God can't take watching His children tormented anymore, He delivered them. Then he would institute another judge.

The reason for their continual tendency to fall back in to sin is because they failed to do what God commanded them in Joshua, to wipe out all of the inhabitants of Canaan. In nearly every territory the Israelites left small pockets of enemy heathen nations. This is why every time there was no Judge to rule over them they went back to worshipping gods and idols. It was because of the influence of small pockets of heathens in their lands that they were influenced to sin again.. The nations that they left.. the small pockets of heathens.

As I was reading through Judges it annoyed me that they kept going back to the same stupid things. They kept sinning, no matter how many amazing things they saw God do. I couldn't understand.. Then I realized.. We are modern day Israelites. God was constantly delivering them and they are constantly turning from Him. They are constantly turning back to gods and idols. and turning back to their sin! It isn't necessarily as obvious in our case. But we do it! We do the same thing! We turn back to our idols and our sin time and time again! It's because We failed to obey God and totally remove the enemy from our lives. We let sin sit in the seat right next to us.. instead of throwing it off as far as we can.. we pick it up and gently place it right next to ourselves.. Why is it so surprising that it so easily just waltzes back into our lives?!

Ah.. now I'm annoyed with myself..

But, an even more outstanding fact that I noticed in Judges is God's patience! He will endlessly wait for us! He will continue to deliver us no matter how stupid we are. Not matter how disobedient we are. No matter how many times we turn on Him. and He'll keep giving us opportunities to completely obliterate the little pockets of that heathen nation that we leave in our lives.. He is sitting there looking at us, grieving, wondering when we'll figure it out..

He is so faithful..

Please pray that I wouldn't be over-whelmed by the teaching or work load. Pray that I would have energy and joy. Pray for my health too! :) Thanks

-Josh

First day of class!

So we started class today! Read through the book of Joshua(how fitting) and discussed it. Wow.. There's some parts in the middle that are a mouth full! I really love the example of Joshua though.

The way he obeyed God even in scary situations. I don't think Joshua was fearless. I think he followed God's commandment to be courageous. I have heard Courage defined as: Not having an absence of fear, but carrying on with what needs to be done, or what you believe in regardless of your fear. I think that was exactly what Joshua did. He knew God's promise in Joshua 1:9, that He would always be with him! So, even though Joshua and the Israelites were in many daunting situations, they carried on and accomplished what God put in front of them.. Not because they were fearless, but because they had faith and were courageous and followed through with God's instructions.. And God fulfilled His promise. He was with them everywhere they went. He gave them all of the land that they stepped foot on!

So far all we've done is start doing some reading. No studying or lectures yet! I'm so excited to start doing more though! Wow, it is going to be some crazy hard work!

Pray that I would hunger for the Word. Pray that I would be able to focus and concentrate. Pray that my mind wouldn't explode with so much knowledge! Well, actually an explosion of knowledge might not be too bad.. but play that it wouldn't overwhelm me! :)

I love you all!

-Josh

Bye Bye Seattle, Hello Lausanne.. Again!

I'm just sitting by my gate at the airport waiting to depart! Sea-Tac has free Wi-Fi.. I wonder if the Portland airport does..?

I am so excited! I just want to be there. But I guess I'll just have to endure the long flight first.. So many thanks to God. He made this possible in every way! The most recent and AWEsome being the provision of the money needed for the trip!

Last friday I bought my plane ticket.. At that point I was still in need of around $3500 dollars. 2 days later I bought my travelers insurance, still needing roughly $3000 at that point. So, here I was. A week before I am supposed to leave. Still in need of ridiculous amounts of money to make this trip possible. Sunday night I already had made the decision that I would go regardless of if I had all the money or not. I would just have to trust God to provide it all. However His crazy ways may be.

Monday proved to be a momentous day! In one day $50 short of $3000 came in for my trip. Thank you all so much! Everyone who made this trip possible! A large sum came from a very unexpected/ awesome source. Wow.. God is good.

Now I'm waiting to get on my plane. Worry free about money! I have all that I need for this trip. God is too good!

Pray for safe travels. Planes to be on time. Sleep on the plane. No hitches along the way!

All my Love,

Josh. :)

p.s. Sorry that it's been months since the last post! It's my goal to not let that happen this time!

Smashing Apples.

Friday morning the DTS got together to have a huge session of prayer, repentance, and forgiveness... They weren’t forcing anyone to do anything, but they encouraged us to let go and forgive people, also to repent of sins and turn to God.

As hard as it sounded to me and as much as I didn’t want to, I decided that I needed to do all these things. (repent, forgive, pray)

My friend Edward went up first and repented on his knees and forgive a bunch of people. Surrounded by friends (or by this point family) praying for him. He broke down in tears. It was very emotional. As I was listening and praying with my face buried in my hands, I started crying, no, not crying.. Sobbing. The first time I can recall crying in 10 years. No exaggeration. It was an amazing release. As tears poured out of my face I couldn’t help but think “Holy crap, I’m actually crying, I forgot what this felt like.”

I decided it was time for me to go up there and do the dance. I let go of some pretty heavy things. Forgave lots of people. repented. It felt good. Another release of things that were pent up inside of me. I still felt super heavy though. I can’t explain it. I felt like God wasn’t done with me. He wanted more. I wanted more.

I was done with the forgiveness fest and the rage of repentance.I just sat there on the ground with my legs crossed. Praying. Listening to all my friends from my YWAM family crying and breaking strongholds and running to God. I wanted more! I didn’t feel like I had actually fully let go and repented of my sins and such. Even though I could already feel a great weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

A thought popped into my head. “Go, walk in the woods.” I kinda pushed that thought back. “This isn’t the time to go and galavant in the woods.” We were supposed to have worship and some other stuff that I thought I shouldn’t miss. It was a persistent thought, however. “Go, walk in the woods.” Finally I succumbed to the thought. “OK! I’ll go.” I grabbed my coat, left the rest of my stuff where it was and bolted without telling someone where I was going. I didn’t want to interrupted anyone. In retrospect I probably should have told someone. But It worked out ok.

Back to the story.

We find me in walking into the woods.

About 2 minutes into my walk. I found an green apple laying in the ground. It had some haggard brown spots, as most apples would if you found it on a trail in the woods. I picked this apple up and took it along with me on my walk. I walked for a long time. Probably about an hour. After I had gotten to a point where I had no idea where I had ventured to, I stopped. Looking down at the apple I had grasped in my hand. The thought slipped into my head “Hmm.. This apple is kinda like my sin.” A cliché reference to Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit. So I decided to try and smash it on a huge tree in front of me in a vain symbolic attempt to dash my sins.

So what did I do? “If I’m getting rid of this sin I’m going to do it with power and glory!” So, I Chucked the apple as hard as I possibly could at this tree!

And......................................

.......................................

........................................................................................... I missed. I missed the huge tree. It was right in front of me!

Then I thought “I tried too hard.” In trying so hard to smash this apple with style I tried to throw it too hard and just missed completely.

Then I got this beautiful piece of graceful wisdom from God. “You’re trying too hard with your sins. You’re trying so, so hard to dash all your sins on this huge figurative tree, and in your vain attempt, you’ve missed. Just let go of your sins and give them up to me. Run to me.” I rummaged deep in the forrest past the tree and finally found the apple. I went back to where I was standing and just tossed the apple and it EXPLODED on the tree. I finally realized what God was telling me.. “You can’t do this. All you can do is let go of these sins and turn to me, and my Son has already done the rest. you can’t save yourself.”

Hahahahaha. I just started laughing with this big stupid grin on my face. I turned and started walking back singing worship songs. “I love you Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you, Oh my soul rejoice. Take joy my King, in what you hear, let it be a sweet sweet sound in your ear.” I finally opened my mind to what God was telling me: I can’t be my savior.

Somewhere during the walk home I started to think about how long I walked through the woods with that apple clasped in my hands. It was at least an hour. I thought to myself “Wow, I held that apple and walked with it for a REALLY long time!”

Suddenly the apple/sin reference filled my head again. I realized that just like with the apple, I held on to my sins for soo long! Wayy too long. I carried these sins for way longer than I needed to or should have. All I had to do was let them go and run to God.

Not only did I finally get the idea of repenting, and that I cant do anything on my own. But, I had gotten a word from God and for the most part understood it and realized that it was from Him. Which was a huge answer to prayer in-and-of-itself.

I got back to the Chalet right before lunch. I’m not really sure how long I was gone. But everyone was like “Where’d you go, Josh?”

I just told them that I had to talk with God in the woods. They understood.

Clenched to This Pyre

Ok, so this is basically like a conversation back and forth between me and God.. Call and answer.

I can feel it in my bones

Something, about to break.

“It’s about time

Love is an action not a thought.”

“It’s your pain now

You’re grasping to the hurt.”

I’m holding on, growing weary

“Let go and experience rest.”

I’m clenched, helpless to this pyre

“Let go and dress your wounds.”

I’m stuck, clutching my shackles

“Let go and explore freedom.”

Letting go, letting go, letting go.

“What took you so long?”

I believed the lies.

“Well, you’re free now.”

What a beautiful gift?!

"This is forgiveness..."

Little Big People.

Just wrote this.. needs a lot more work. But here it is.

Little, big people trying to rule the world.

Acting mature

But, really helpless children.

Big on the outside,

But little on the inside.

yea, we love this, we love this!

Reveal the Truth

They know nothing,

Full of intellectual pride,

In an abnormal world made up to be normal.

Set them on fire!

Don’t let the sun go down on this!

Take the risk, Take the risk.

I.Am.Blessed.

Wow, I truly feel God's love today. It's incredible. He has so much for me. I can't wait to see what else he has planned for me. I am having such a good time.

Thank you so much for praying!

I don't know if I can explain the feelings that I'm having right now. I feel so blessed by God.

Please continue to pray!