Hunger!

If I opened my bible half as much as I check up on my Twitter, I’d be a theologian by now.
I am a day in to this fast; I have already realized how much time that I have free to do other stuff in the day when I am not preoccupied with Facebook and Twitter. I have more time to pray and read my bible. It’s actually pretty spectacular.
Another thing being made apparent to me is that I am a glutton. You may not think so when you look at me. But, spend a day with me and you’ll see how much I eat. My close friends can attest to that. I really do just do it to pass time. I totally enjoy it. As of right now I am pretty-dang hungry. This whole not eating thing is super foreign to me. I think I’m slowly getting used to it though.

So far, I haven’t had any spiritual revelations, yet. However, I have definitely had some really great prayer and bible time. I am looking forward to where tomorrow takes me.

Pray that God reveals himself to me during this time. Pray for me to seek God, not just hide and wait for him to find me. Pray for God to give me strength.

The Fast.

So,

I've decided to do a 3 day fast. Today(Friday, July 24th) through Sunday, July 26th. Not a long one, cause I'm starting out small. I don't want to bit of more than i can swallow.

For the past month or so, I've been evaluating myself and my relationship with Christ. I've come to the conclusion that I have become to focused on things other than God. Such as: Friends(as much as I love them, they can't go before Jesus), food, facebook, girls and other such things. Not that friends or facebook or food is bad.

Hopefully, during this fast my walk with Christ will grow stronger as a result of leaning on God for support.

I am fasting food, other than like, soup and such. I'll be drinking water and juice. I'm also fasting Facebook and Twitter.

We'll see what happens. Please pray that this would be a beneficial fast.

Take The Steps.

It's not a door. It's not.. Even though it has hinges and it clearly looks like a door.. there's even place where a handle used to be. I guess this raises the question... Is the handle what makes a door a door? Or is it the act of realizing that there's a door right in front of you and taking those few pivotal steps through..?

Ice Cream Scoops.

I can’t think on one subject for more than 10 seconds! It’s been this way my whole life. It’s just now a problem. Maybe it is because I finally have something to say. Something that is important to think about for more than a fleeting moment.

I wish I could take an ice cream scoop to my brain, scoop out the mess that is my thoughts and lay them all out in from of you in a way that makes sense... But, I don’t want to risk the brain damage.

So, I pray for God to give me a clear mind and an unraveled tongue. If for even just one day I could have a clear and focused head, that would be a blessing.

I’ve been actually trying to make an effort to read my Bible everyday. Sadly, If this was for a grade, I’d probably have an even worse score than in school. When I DO read, I always pray beforehand. The reason being that most times I find the answer to my prayer, in the Bible. This is a newly introduced practice for me.

The other day I prayed that God would help me with what I would consider to one of my biggest struggles, right now... Lust.

For some reason I read through 1 Chronicles. (15:13-15) The part I read had to do with when David was having the Levites move the Ark to a new location. He says “Because you Levites did not carry the Ark the first time, the anger of the Lord our God burst out against us. We failed to ask God how to move it properly.” When I read this it hit me that I haven’t asked God how to remove this sin from my life properly. I have been trying to do it on my own. I failed to ask my Creator how to go about plucking out my lustful eyes and replacing them with pure, unwandering eyes. (figuratively, of course).

This is my "revelation" for the day.

Please, pray that God would show me how to pray. Pray that I could get my thoughts in order. If you think my speech sounds chaotic...please take a look inside my head. Pray that God shows me how to properly rid myself of my lustful spirit.

This is Really Happening...

I wish my words came out poetic, but they don’t. I wish I could write a thousand words and woo everyone reading. I can’t.

There are so many thoughts and feelings in my head that know no one will get to understand, because I can’t say them in tangible words. Most times I stumble over my tongue and I just sound chaotic... I hope that with this blog I can write it all out, and have it make sense. That’s my goal.

My life is going to be changing drastically in the next few months. I will be embarking on a life changing journey.

In September, I leave for Lausanne, Switzerland. Located on Lake Geneva. I will be part of an organization called YWAM (Youth With A Mission). This amazing organization has been impacting lives for decades. I am so excited to be a part of it.

While in Switzerland I’ll be taking part in a 3 month DTS (Discipleship Training School). Throughout this time I will be learning SO MUCH about the bible. I am so excited for how my relationship and personal walk with Christ will grow! There will be speakers every week, along with intense bible study and prayer. (I’ll also have chances to explore Switzerland and surrounding countries).

After my 3 month stay in Lausanne, I will transition from learning and preparing to actually putting that stuff to use. I have no idea where I will be for the next 3 months of my journey. All that I know is that wherever Christ takes me, I am so ready.

So, this is where I’m at. 2 months away. and I’m shaking in my boots. So scared, yet so excited... Still much to do.

Pray that I will be emotionally ready, spiritually ready, mentally ready. Pray that I will get to know people right away and build relationships that will last a lifetime. Pray for support to come in. Pray for a sound mind, for purity. Pray for my leaders and for my fellow YWAMers. Pray that I can put myself aside and serve others, without hesitation. Pray for my flight. Pray for the speakers. Pray that I can spread God’s love to EVERYONE I talk to. Pray for my public speaking. Pray for courage over my fears. Pray for me to love others.

This will be my attempt to articulate my thoughts, feelings, emotions, experiences, and things that I learn along the way. Hopefully I can paint an accurate picture of what it’s like to see the world and God through my eyes. Here it goes. This is really happening...